Breaking News: Mutant Squash Found Ripped From Its Life Source

I’m disappointed to report that the Wicker Park mutant squashlett was blown off the vine during Chicago’s powerful storm this past weekend. We will never know what it would have grown up to become. Considering the rest of the squash blossoms held tight in the wind, I’m guessing the florateratoma, as it shall be known henceforth, had a weak umbilical cord and would never have matured. Weep.

Update: My prior disappointment regarding the zucchini blossoms not being pollinated has been , for lack of a better word, squashed. Good one, eh? Like the old saying goes, “if you can’t force-pollinate your squash blossoms, fry them.” We had out-of-town guests this past weekend so our breakfast appetizer on Saturday (amuse bouche du brunch, perhaps?) was fried squash blossoms. Our guests commented that the fried blossoms taste better than regular zucchini anyway, so who needs copulation? From now on I’m picking the blossoms before they even have a chance to not-pollinate and drop off.

If you haven’t fried squash blossoms, it’s simple and you should try it. You can get fancy by stuffing them but I don’t bother. Simply rinse them and pull off anything ugly. While they are still wet from rinsing, dust them with a mixture of flour, salt & pepper. Or whatever dusting powder you might concoct. Fry them in canola oil that has been heated over medium-high heat. If the oil isn’t hot enough you will have a mushy final product. Once they are browned to perfection, lay them on paper towel to drain excess oil. Eat. Repeat.

Well folks, it’s been fun but I’m going to China. And then I’ll come back. But for the next week and a half I probably won’t be posting much here. If you’re not following me on Facebook or Twitter please feel welcome: Wicker Rooftop. If I do any updates while in China, they will be on the FB or T. Now go get dirty.

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